The Frontiers of Adulthood: Baby Makin'

So, you're thinking about having a baby...or just wondering about having a baby...

Now, some women know when they're ready. They get super-serious about it and are very much "NOW IS THE TIME FOR PREGNANCY!"

I was not one of those people.

Charles and I had one scare a few years back that got the wheels was one of those "well, if I was pregnant, what would we do?" moments. Turned out I wasn't, but it got us thinking about the concept of creating a small human and having that human be the center of our universe forever after.

I think initial feelings were "life isn't going to be fun anymore" along with "we don't have the money to do that" with a dash of "but I still feel like a kid!"

Cut to a few years later: 2015. We decided we should probably get going on this baby thing because we weren't getting any younger and there really wasn't going to be a "good" time. People raised children with much less in worse circumstances and we were also really curious about the scientific experiment we were about to try. The idea of smashing genetics together is crazy. I know the entire world has been doing it for millions of years and all but...well, it's still crazy.

So, these are my steps to getting pregnant. I will not say that this will work for everybody, but it's just how I went about it. If you're thinking about creating life, consider these steps.

Step 1: Talk to Your OBGYN

I started planting the seed in my doc's head at the end of 2014 during my last check-up and we set a loose goal. "Maybe mid-year next year?"

So, he did some preliminary testing (my last pap smear, checking out the shape of my uterus, and all that really fun stuff) and put me on prenatal vitamins starting in January. I simply stopped taking my birth control pills.

Charles and I were using other methods to not get preggo at the same time, but not being all that careful. Still, the doc said it could take up to 3 months for the pill to wear off.

Other than that, no special orders. The plan was to try for a while before resorting to any fertility testing.

Step 2: Download One of Those Apps

I didn't think I was going to be one of those ovulation app folks, but after I went off the pill I was so freaked out about my period going haywire that I felt like I needed something to keep track of it. The perk is that it was also keeping track of my ovulation.

I lucked out in that my period remained pretty normal, albeit a little longer and slightly more annoying than before. All I had to do was tap in when I was having my period on the app and it would magically calculate around when I was the most fertile. (What did women do before apps?!)

I just did a quick search of fertility apps in the App Store and ended up downloading Kindara. Feel free to choose whatever app works best for you.

Step 3: Take Care of Your Body

Make an effort to eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise. This goes for both you AND your partner. Seriously, it won't matter if one of you is in great shape if the other isn't.

You want your body to be in tip top condition to hold on to a fertilized egg and your guy needs to have properly formed swimmers in abundance.

Turns out a lot can effect a guy's sperm count and quality including diet, exercise, if he runs warm (heat kills the little guys), if he wears skinny jeans and/or briefs (tight pants aren't the best), and even taking super hot showers (again, heat is no bueno.)

Even if your man is producing a lot of little swimmers, they may be deformed from the above issues. When I say "deformed" don't get freaked out. It's just things like they might have two tails and swim in a circle instead of toward your egg or have too big of a head and can't swim properly.

Lucky for guys, just some simple changes in their lives can get their swimmers back in good form. For us ladies, unfortunately, we're kinda stuck with the eggs we were given since we don't produce eggs...we start life with a set amount. Lame, I know.

So, you and your other half need to keep each other in check!

Step 4: What People Call "The Fun Part"

So, now you try to aim to have sexy time whenever you're fertile...and, really, as much as you can.

However, Charles and I are realists. We work long hours, are on different sleep and work schedules, and sometimes rather sit and play videogames or have a conversation than go for evening acrobatics...and that's only if he doesn't come home to me already blacked out on the couch and spooning the dog.

Just do it as much as you can without finding it to be a chore.

When it comes down to it, we didn't really increase our frequency that much. We were pretty relaxed about the whole ordeal.

Sub-Step 4a: Post-Coital Moves

So, this is important and, I'm convinced, one of the reasons I was able to get preggo sooner than later.
Do one or all of these things after you've had a roll in the hay:
  • A handstand for 10 minutes (I didn't do this, but have a friend who did)
  • Jam a pillow under your butt to elevate your bottom half for at least 10 minutes (did this)
  • Roll in that hay right before bed and then drift off to sleep (you can pee before you black out though - don't need you getting a UTI!)
  • Only showers - don't take a bath for a few days after that hay roll (water is a sperm's enemy!)
An additional note that's not so much about post-coital things, but during: Apparently, the missionary position is best for conception. I can't remember exactly why that is (like because you're in a position to keep the swimmers in versus having them drip out)...

Wow. This is getting way too graphic, huh?

Step 5: Do NOT Stress

Probably the most important thing of all.

I've heard a ton of stories of women who were completely stressing themselves out over trying to get pregnant and they didn't get pregnant until they gave up and were convinced that they couldn't. My sister, for instance, stressed out and gave up. When she went to the doc to discuss IVF, the doc told her she didn't need it...because she was pregnant. BOOM.

So, I decided to give myself at least 6 months to a year of just living my life off the pill, having sexy time whenever possible (especially when I was fertile - thanks, app) and just enjoying this new way of thinking:

You spend your entire life trying NOT to get pregnant...and then suddenly, you're trying to do the complete opposite. 

Funny, isn't it?

The only thing that got in the way was a lot of traveling. Every month I was flying to NY for at least a week (sometimes more), so we weren't getting in as many sessions as we would have liked. A lot of it is just a numbers game. You're more likely to get pregnant the more sexy time you have. Probability was not on our side.

Still, I did my best not to stress not think about what we were trying to do. (Admittedly, I cried over my morning yogurt once...but as it turns out, I was likely already pregnant at that point. Ha.)

Anyway, stress is evil and does horrible things to our minds and bodies. Just because you didn't get pregnant on your first try does not mean you're inadequate or not meant to be a mom. YOU ARE AWESOME. Remember that.

Step 6a: Get Pregs

If all goes as planned, you'll eventually get pregnant. Yay!

Step 6b: Not Pregs? Call Your Doc.

Listen, sometimes you try for a while and it doesn't work. (Give yourself at least 6 months to a year of trying though.)

Ain't no shame, friend. We're all built differently and, again, just because you don't get pregnant the minute your other half looks at you doesn't mean you aren't meant to be a mother.

Just pick up the phone and call your doc. Time to see if there's anything getting in the way of you and getting pregnant. AND don't discount your other half. They should get tested too. The responsibility of conception is not fully on you. Don't forget that.

In the end...

I want to reiterate that I am, by no means, a doctor. I have no professional knowledge of any of this stuff and am just sharing my experience and a few things I learned along the way.

If you have any questions at all (or you feel like chatting or venting to me), don't hesitate to leave a comment! I'd love to hear if anyone else had any techniques that they tried!

Happy conceiving! xo!

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