Diablo III (for Xbox): A Videogame Review

Yep, it's true. I've sprinkled hints here and there all over this blog. I'm an avid gamer and have been since about the age of 5.

With that said, I wanted to take a minute to talk about Diablo III (now available on consoles!)

It had become obvious after our 8th character on Skyrim and the fast and furious nature of Charlesband's and my gaming habits that we were going to need another game to play stat. We spent many weeks (if not months) contemplating what game could possibly quench our fantasy thirst the way Skyrim did. We even searched articles like 26 Games Like Skyrim.

We wanted character options, a vast world with tons of side quests, and I just couldn't bring myself to play any games that were overtly sexist...which is why we ended up not going with Witcher, despite it being pretty close to what we were looking for. Sorry, no dice. Also, I don't wanna play that dude. I can't relate to him.

But we were getting bored with Merlee-La. Our latest Argonian Skyrim character. Adorable, a little awkward, and so lovingly named after our pup, Merlin.

So, when we heard that Diablo III had come out for console gaming, we thought, "hey, what do we have to lose?" I hadn't really spent much time playing the Diablo series prior, but Charlesband convinced me and we got ourselves a copy.

Cut to the sheer joy of co-op mode. I was a monk with a Russian accent. He was a smug wizard who had no accent whatsoever, but an intensely smarmy dialogue delivery. (See below. Go ahead and note our matching attire.)

We spent about three weeks (one whole week I was away and begged Charlesband not to play without me since I'd have to spend a ton of time leveling to match him - so 2 weeks), playing this game in 1 to 4 hour sessions every night and on the weekends.

The outcome? Yes, it was a lot of fun. We especially enjoyed the names of the various armor and weapons we picked up. ("Truth Truth" and "The Scalp" were noteworthy.) At a few points, between our two characters and the barrage of enemies, there was so much going on on the screen that we would often lose where we were.

It's a bit of a button masher to be sure. Not a lot of serious tactics and button combos here. It's a little mindless, but in a good way. We spent most of our energy trading items, equipping jewels, and dyeing our armor to match. (Yes, we're a little neurotic when it comes to outfit consistency...and we were both bummed we couldn't dye our Lut Socks...but at least we were both sporting a pair, so we matched. OMG, do we sound lame right now?)

Anyway, the game play was fun. There were a few epic boss battles, but by the end I had equipped myself with so much "X+ experience after a kill" that I was leveling uncontrollably and our characters were too strong for their own good. The last few boss battles were a piece of cake.

I will say that the cinematics between acts were breathtaking. I'm a sucker for the whole "Heaven vs. Hell" thing, though the head angel was a big ol' jerk...and does anyone else feel like they accidentally named the African American character Tyrael (which I initially read as "Tie-rel") and realized it was super un-PC and decided to have everyone pronounce it "Tiri-el"? I mean, c'mon. (I'm allowed to talk about this. I'm a minority and am sick of seeing all Asian female characters with Chinese names. I'm looking at you Mei Ling from Metal Gear Solid! She also had a killer Asian accent...and I believe she had a lisp in the first iteration of the series which was SUPER-awesome...except not.)

Anyway, I digress.

All in all, a good time all around. Fun new skills each time you level, great equipment, the anticipation of finding an "unidentified item" and uncovering its mysteries was like Christmas morning...but I had some issues as well...

1) It took us a really short period of time to finish the game.
2) No notable side quests to speak of.
3) SPOILER ALERT! When you beat the game you're expecting some AWESOME cinematic ending because that's what you've gotten used to...but all you get is some random angle being all, "Evil is vanquished!" and your character coyly being all, "I'm not so sure about that, Jimmy...let me set up a little cliffhanger for Diablo IV!"
4) Don't bother sitting through the 15 to 20 minutes of credits (yes, they were that long...why they didn't localize the credits for each region, I have no idea. I DON'T CARE WHO WAS DOING CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR YOUR GAME IN BRAZIL!!!!) There are no cinematics just get taken back to the menu screen.
5) Oh, you can keep your character and play more? AWESOME!...except you're just plopped back at the beginning of the game and you're playing a harder mode. BUMMER.

So, is it fun? Yes. Worth it? Yeah, it's fun to play with another person so you can both scream things like, "OMG, THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON ON THE SCREEN? WHERE'S MY CHARACTTER?" and "oh, wait. That's not me. It's you." (As you realize your character is just running against a wall at the corner of the screen - the pitfalls of having matching green outfits.)

Will I keep playing it? Probably. I kinda wanna see how far I can level and how powerful I can make my Russian monk...or I may play a demon hunter because, apparently, they are fueled by hatred, which is always fun...? Maybe the demon hunter will have a lisp.

Anyway, if you're ok with my list of "well, these things kinda bummed me out," then go forth and get yourself the game. Vanquishing evil (for now) is fun! xo!


  1. Nice and funny review. new subbie.

    1. Thanks!
      Hope it was helpful.
      Meanwhile, we TOTALLY went back to playing Skyrim and are now working on our 9th character. Yeesh!


  2. Maybe the end of game cinematic only appears when you beat the game on the hardest setting?

    1. Is this a theory or is this fact?
      In which case, it hardly seems fair.
      If someone had told me that in the first place, maybe I would've made the time investment to play on the hardest mode...but as it stands, I'm not sure I feel like replaying the whole thing over again.
      Call me lazy...or strapped for time.

      Have you played it yet?


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