Mama Matsuo Musing #6: Some Serious Lip Service

We all know that my beloved mother (a.k.a Mama Matsuo) knows a thing or two about being a lady. (Like in the Tom Jones' song, She's a Lady - as in "she's got style, she's got grace. She's a winner.") If you didn't know, my mom's a winner. And though I may not ever reach the upper echelon's of Lady Status that my mother so daintily perches on (I play videogames, have a penchant for goofy faces and conduct impromptu dance parties consisting of the most unflattering dance moves), I can listen to a few of her tips.

Today's tip is one that I learned later in life:

Mama Matsuo Musing #6: Wear Bright Lipstick To Reanimate Your Corpse

I fought like the dickens to not wear lipstick for the longest time. I swore it made me look like a clown! "Too much attention on my mouth! I can't pull it off! There's just no way!" And with those thoughts swarming in my head, I rode the lipgloss train up until maybe 3 years ago and then, suddenly, without warning (also known as "Nami walks into a Sephora with too much time on her hands"), I find myself with a tube of bright pink lipstick. It was the type of lipstick my mother would approve of. Looking back, I have no idea how it happened. Needless to say, the minute my mother saw me wearing it, she was all "that's a great lipstick color!"

Followed by, "pick one up for me next time you're out."

Which then led to my mother and I wearing the same lipstick...which was, quite frankly, a very proud beauty moment in my life. Rarely does the lazy susan of my beauty education with my mother ever rotate in the opposite direction.

Find it here.

Anyway, here's the list of things I almost immediately noticed upon donning this garishly bright lipstick out in public (and not in the Sephora.)

Oh, Look! I Have a Mouth!

In all honesty, there was a moment where I feared I would become those crazy lips from the old Twizzler commercials. Like I would just be a walking mouth...but what it actually did was accentuate the fact that I own a mouth!

All those years of wearing pale lipglosses had me convinced that my mouth was actually just a line scribbled on my face, but this was, in fact, untrue! Ladies and gentleman, I have lips!

Whitening In a Flash!

So, you know how white looks whiter when it's next to black? (It's all about contrast and what your eye perceives, people.) Well, it turns out that the same things goes for lipstick & teeth (except when said lipstick gets on said which case we're just talking about looking sloppy.)

Bright lipstick will make your teeth look whiter! And studies show that whiter teeth are a sign of youth. Also, who doesn't want whiter teeth? I haven't heard anyone lately talking about how their teeth aren't brown enough...oh, wait. Actually, I've never heard anyone talking about that.

Even if it is an optical illusion, I'll take it!

That Corpse Reanimation I Mentioned Earlier

So, one of the major things I noticed after my late discovery of bright lipstick is that it makes me look more alive! After a late night or when I'm dealing with the plague or a nasty case of PMS, I turn to bright lipstick to make me look less muertoish. (I made that word up.)

Be warned, bright lipstick will not cure nausea, magically shrink the coin purses under your eyes, or erase that vacant stare, but you'll look put together enough to ensure you can walk by most people in the street (quickly) without them screaming "zombie" and running away. (I would say vampire, but according to today's popular fiction, it seems they're all really good looking and have gorgeous skin...less undead and more porcelain model-y.)

Ok, no one's going to call you a zombie...but no one wants to hear the dreaded "Are you ok? You look tired." Don't ever say that to a co-worker or friend. They already know they look whacked out. If anything, offer them your bright lipstick (assuming they don't have herpes.) If it's a guy, offer it to him anyway. Bright lipstick will surely take the focus away from your co-worker's state and re-focus it on more culturally interesting subjects like whether men have a right to wear lipstick to the office.

Also, generally people have a tendency to look slightly corpsey (also a made-up word) in photographs & video footage if they aren't wearing anything on their face. If you can't do bright lipstick, at least wear blush...but, seriously, bright lipstick will save you from looking like a ghostly apparition.

A Few Considerations...

Of course, nothing is ever perfect, so here is a quick list of things to remember when wearing bright lipstick:
  • Exfoliate your lips before applying - bright lipstick on flaky lips is...well, I'll be honest, it's offensive to look at.
  • Your lips...NOT your teeth - mentioned earlier, beware getting it on your teeth.
  • Stay away from clown town - bright lipstick is a statement...don't over-complicate your face by putting too much eye make-up and blush on with'll end up looking like a clown. Only clowns like looking like clowns.
  • Stop the bleeding - some bright lipsticks have a tendency to bleed, so invest in a good lip liner to keep the color from creeping out onto the rest of your face.
Of course, I'm generalizing...I know plenty of people who look fabulous without bright lipstick, but it's definitely something that everyone should have in their beauty arsenal. You wouldn't catch Mama Matsuo without her bright pinkish-red lipstick if ever she needed to step out of the house. (She's a lady, remember?!)

So, I hope you get a chance to test M.M.'s advice and if you're already a wearer of bright lipstick, go on with your bad self! You're smile is blinding (in the best way)! xo!

No comments:

Post a Comment