Things You Hadn't Asked For

It's an undeniable truth that when we fall in love and get engaged, we don't stop to think about all the things that go with marriage. The second thought I had after "good gravy, he proposed!" was "@%*&, I have to move across the country!"

To be sure, my engagement and slip n' slide to the altar wasn't the modern norm. We didn't live with each other until we were engaged. I had no idea what awaited me the minute we were confronted with the dreaded Tetrising of our lives (and stuff.)

Mr. Merlin. A.k.a "Practicing for Children"
In a lot of ways, I say, the old fashion way of staying apart until engagement or marriage is a blessing. You go into this new found partnership as just that...a partnership. You're in it together and because you're already committed, there's no running away. Confronting the problems will happen and you're better off.

Here are a few things to remember:

  1. Your significant other is not a mind reader, so don't go getting bent out of shape and slamming cabinet doors because he/she doesn't understand what they did wrong.
  2. If you're bothered, take 10 minutes to consider #1 and then try to figure out why it's bothering you.
  3. Once you've figured it out, approach your significant other without aggression - nothing makes people shut down or get counter-aggressive like...aggression. Surprise.
  4. Remember, you love this person, so compromise is key - this doesn't mean you have to change who you are (since they fell in love with you for who you are, right?) It just means, be flexible.
  5. Dogs make great practice for children:

You may be asking what kind of authority I have to be making these points.
I have no authority, actually, except for a pretty good first year of marriage and a husband who's responded well to our life tetrising. (I no longer see socks outside the hamper and he'll take the recycling out without me even asking! Trust me, these are leaps & bounds from where we were!)

Ain't love grand?

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